don't let go
by nicolasamaria
Summary: Korra deals with the after effects of being ambushed by Amon and Mako tries to be sympathetic. Post 1.04.


If Korra thought her anxiety was bad before, it's been like ten times worse since Amon ambushed her. She can't believe she was so stupid, she should have been more alert, more careful, but she let her dumb pride get in the way.

She is _not _weak.

But he makes her feel weak, he makes her feel terrified and it's eating away at her. It's why she's lying awake at night, unable to sleep, unable to think about anything else.

Some Avatar she is.

She can't even bust this guy and he's not even a bender. Korra wonders what Aang would do, how he would deal with this? Sometimes she just really wishes she could talk to him, ask for his advice.

It pisses her off to no end that she hasn't entered the Avatar state yet. Tenzin says it's because she hasn't mastered airbending yet, which is crucial to the whole process.

Whatever, she can't help it if she sucks at meditating.

She thinks about the flashbacks she had, maybe from her past life, _Aang's life_. What do they mean, why did she see them ? Is he trying to tell her something? She has so many unanswered questions.

With a frustrated huff, Korra kicks off her sheets and turns to look out her window. The moon is high and full in the sky tonight and she can feel the pull of the ocean in her veins. She never thought she'd miss the South Pole, but right now she wants to be back with her parents. Safe and sound.

She snorts at that, what a stupid thing to think. She can't ever go home like that again, she's the _Avatar_. It's her duty to stay and help Republic City and keep the peace.

Korra moves to sit on the edge of her bed and then tugs on her boots. She's not going to get any sleep tonight so she might as well train a little. Naga is sleeping peacefully, so she decides not to wake her and crawls out her window and hops gracefully down the side of the house. She moves her way to the beach and plops down in the sand a little ways away from the water

"Hello, Yue." she says quietly as she looks up at the glowing moon. Inhaling deeply, Korra rolls forward and pulls herself up into a handstand. The blood rushes through her ears and she can feel the push and pull of the tide. She concentrates on it, sways with it until she feels as though she is one with it and then she moves. Quickly, she flips over, lands gracefully on her feet and pulls, turning seamlessly as she moves the water through the air. It forms into a whip and she begins to train, forcing herself to go through her regiment, despite the itching feeling she has that someone is watching her. She's so paranoid, she can feel herself slipping, every little sound makes her whip around and ready herself for attack.

Korra trains, or tries to at least, until the sun is peeking over the horizon, but she doesn't really notice. She has to push on, she can't stop now, she has to be prepared, she has to know all her elements and be able to execute them flawlessly.

The next time she meets Amon will be the last.

"Long time, no see."

"Ah!" Korra jumps and turns around, pulling the water with her and shooting it off at …

"Mako?" she asks with a tilted head as she watches her teammates stand there, soaking wet. There's a pang of guilt in chest at the sight of him, she hasn't seen him since the ball and hasn't been to practice since last week. Mako wipes the water out of his eyes before clenching his fists and steaming himself dry.

"Yep." he answers shortly.

Korra winces, "Sorry, you startled me."

He runs a hand haphazardly through his hair before sighing deeply and Korra braces herself for what she's sure is going to be a _fun _conversation.

"Yeah, guess that's what I get for sneaking up on the Avatar." he mutters and she gives him a strained smile.

"What are you doing here so early?"

"I've been up for awhile. Practicing for the tournament. Just thought I'd come by and see if you'd be interested in joining us today?" he asks evenly, Korra can tell he's trying to keep his cool, but there's frustration slowly burning behind his eyes.

"I … I don't know." she responds nervously. She wants to kick herself, this isn't like her, all timid and afraid. Mako doesn't seem to notice though because now he just looks down right pissed off.

"You don't know?" he asks, his voice rising, "You haven't been to practice in almost two weeks! Do you even want to be on the team anymore? Because if not, you should tell me now."

"It's not that." she murmurs. Korra doesn't want to have this conversation, she doesn't want to show him her weakness. But he's just standing there, looking at her expectantly, just like everyone else in her life does, and she wants to scream.

"I don't know what you want from me!" she shouts finally, throwing her hands up in the air.

Mako scowls at her, "I want you to come to practice! You wanted to be on the team so damn badly, and now you're on it. You can't just ditch us when you feel like it, I don't care if you _are _the Avatar!"

Korra blinks at him, Mako has never yelled at her before and it's making her guilt ever worse. How can she tell him about all the stuff that's been going on, will he understand?

Probably not.

"But I _am _the Avatar! This isn't fair, I have other responsibilities, you know!" she cries because she doesn't know what else to say. She can't tell him she's afraid to leave the house, can she? Can't tell him of the gut wrenching fear she gets every time she thinks of Amon, every time she thinks about having her bending taken away from her.

"Then why did you join the Fire Ferrets?" he questions, his voice hinging on desperate.

"I don't know!" Korra shouts, angry now at all these questions she's _really _not prepared to answer.

"You made a commitment, so you better stick to it, or we're gonna have to find a new waterbender." he retorts and it feels like a smack to the face, so much so that Korra takes a step back.

"You wouldn't."

"Well you're not leaving me with much of a choice!"

"I can't help it if I'm busy!"

"And I can't help it if I want to win! We've already been sponsored for the tournament!"

"Well good for you! I'm sure you'll find a new waterbender in no time!" she hisses before stomping off. _No, no, no, this is exactly the opposite of what she wants to be happening. _

"Come on, Korra. Don't be like that! You know we want you." Mako hastens after her as she trots along the beach.

"Sure doesn't seem like it."

"Well, maybe if you got your head out of your Avatar ass, you'd see it."

Korra whips around, startling Mako, and they're practically nose to nose. "Don't act all high and mighty, you have no idea what goes on with me and my … ass." she grounds out and Mako blinks.

"Look, all I know is that the championships are coming up soon and now you're never freaking around! I can't work like this, I need someone who is going to be there!"

"I told you, I'm trying!"

"Not very hard!"

"Just … shut up!"

Mako scowls, "No, this is so … stupid!"

"You're stupid!"

"Oh yeah, really mature."

"Maybe I'm not mature! I'm only seventeen for crying out loud! How am I supposed to do all this stuff? I have to master all the elements, and go to practice and stop … and stop Amon." she trails off, suddenly reminded of the masked man who had haunted her dreams lately.

She must have zoned out because suddenly Mako is in her line of sight and snapping his fingers in front of her face, "Hellooo, Earth to Korra?"

She smacks his hands away and crosses her arms tightly over her chest. "Just leave me alone. Find a new waterbender. Whatever."

"Seriously?" he asks in disbelief and Korra shrugs half heartedly. "Thats...that's not what I want."

"Well, then what do you want?" she cries, throwing her arms in the air, she seriously cannot do this right now. She's so frustrated and she's been trying to keep her stupid chin from wobbling for the past few minutes, but now she's just so irritated and upset that she thinks she might just burst into tears at any moment.

"I want you to say you'll come to practice! And I want you to stop being … weird!"

That does it.

"I'm not weird!" Korra wails, tears finally spilling over onto her cheeks. She rubs at her face angrily as she tries to get herself under control. But now that she's started, she can't seem to stop. She lets out a loud sob.

"Um..." she hears Mako say vaguely over her own crying. She feels like such an idiot, he's going to think she's a crazy person and it makes her cry harder. "I'm sorry I said that. You're not weird." he continues awkwardly and Korra wants to laugh, but she can't.

Then he's right in front of her, his warm hands on her shoulders, rubbing them awkwardly and it just makes her sob more. She'd be embarrassed about this whole situation if she wasn't bordering on hysterical.

"Please stop crying." he murmurs, "I don't know how to deal with the crying."

Korra sniffles and looks up at him through watery eyes. He actually looks really concerned, which is surprising to her and she's even more shocked when he reaches up to quietly wipes away some of her tears. Then, before she realizes what she's doing, she launches herself at Mako and buries her head in his neck. He stumbles backwards a little, but catches himself before he falls and she cries quietly as he stands there tensely.

Slowly, she feels him start to relax and he wraps one arm around her shoulders, the other rubs slowly circles on her back. Oddly enough, Korra starts to feel the tension leave her body as well, all this crying has been a sort of cathartic release for her.

And having Mako hug her isn't so bad either. As she quiets down, she notices the strong line of his jaw, slightly rough from stubble and his pale neck, which she hadn't fully appreciate before. He's got a very nice neck, she decides. It smells like Mako intensified, which she likes.

"Are you okay now?" he asks quietly as he pulls away from her. And Korra realizes that she stopped crying at some point during their embrace. Mako tilts her face up towards his and quickly wipes away any remnants of her tears with thumb.

"Thank you." she whispers and he gives her a small smile. She almost doesn't want to look him in the eyes, she's so embarrassed and … confused. She doesn't understand how he can go from the most infuriating boy on the planet to this … sweet guy who lets her cry on shoulder. Er … neck.

"No problem." he says lowly, his voice hoarse.

Korra jerks away from him suddenly, the full realization of her meltdown hitting her all at once. She clears her throat awkwardly and kicks at the sand in a futile attempt to distract herself.

"Sorry about that."

"It's okay."

"I've just been really stressed lately. All this stuff with Amon and I know that I need to start going to practice and that I can't make excuses anymore. I want to be a Fire Ferret." she stresses that last bit and Mako just nods. Korra has never felt so uncomfortable and out of place in her life. What the hell is she supposed to do now?

"Are you sure you're okay?"

Korra blinks, "Yeah, why wouldn't I be?"

Mako manages a smile before shaking his head, "No reason, I guess."

"So, I'll see you later at practice?"

"Yep."

"Okay." she breathes and moves to leave when Mako's hand on her arm stops her. His eyes are trained on her and she can't help but notice just how gold they are. _Have they always been like that? _she wonders. _Like honey and caramel and a warm summer's day. _

"It's gonna be okay, Korra." he murmurs soothingly, "We're gonna get Amon, I promise you."

Korra smiles at him, the first real smile in days, and she feels lighter at his reassurance, like this huge weight has been lifted from her shoulders.

She is _not _alone.

Her hand covers his and she squeezes tightly, it's like he's her lifeline.

"Damn right we are."

And for the first time in days, Mako smiles with her.

* * *

_A/N: _Okay, so I frakking love Makorra, or as I like to call them, Korko (making up my own weird ship names like a pro). Anyways, I was kind of irked by how much Mako did not care about what was going on with Korra in the last episode and this was the outcome. Hope I did okay with the characterizations, seeing as we're only four episodes in. This may be a two parter because I feel like it's missing something (making out, okay, I feel like it's missing them putting their faces together).

thanks for reading and reviews are always welcome!


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